Emily in France 🇫🇷 I'll Probably Never Be French

I'll probably never feel French.

When I first moved to France, I had one goal in mind: become French. I already spoke the language, so, in my mind, the rest would be gravy. I'd make only French friends; consume only French media. Within a year, I thought, I'd feel completely like a native.

It was (unsurprisingly) harder than I expected.

The French, it turns out, consumed more American media than I did, so seeking out local choices was a struggle. Knowing the language proved to be less impressive when most of my vocabulary came out of a textbook instead of from the slang spoken in the streets.

Making French friends was another an enormous hurdle. Since there's less of a culture of moving around here, especially for university, people tend to make a close-knit group of friends in high school and stick to it. They aren't looking for any new friends as adults. Add to that the fact that casual acquaintances take a long, long, long time to be considered friends in France (as opposed to back home, when you can easily end up invited to someone's party next week after you've just met them), and I felt very isolated for the first few years I lived here.

Over time, I became an avid analyzer of everything that was different about my culture of birth and my adoptive one. I even made it the subject of my Master's thesis (but more on that next week). And while I still wanted to be accepted here, I embraced, more and more, my expat status. Slowly but surely, I became far more American than I ever had been when I was actually living there. I listened to country music; I drank American coffee; I read almost exclusively in English. And almost all of my friends were – and remain – fellow expats.

Which means that while, after two years of waiting, I'm finally officially French... I feel more American than ever.

There are a few exceptions, of course. The time I got diverted through the European immigration line on my way to the Eurostar at Gare du Nord. The moments where I stumble looking for a word, only to find I can't access it in English, only in French.

But one of the most striking moments, for me, happened at a recent pub quiz in London. I was able to both answer a question about what a between-the-ribs steak is called in French (entrecôte) and identify the capital of Nevada. The Quizmaster looked puzzled.

"What are you, then?" he asked. "French or American?"

I'm both, officially and culturally. I think I'll always feel both.

Where I'm Eating

I don't think I'm alone in wanting at least one great restaurant where I always feel at home. In Paris, that place is Martin.

I've actually reviewed Martin twice on my blog (#1, #2), but it's the kind of place you can return to again and again. The menu changes every day (and is almost always posted on Instagram), featuring seasonal ingredients, many of which come from Le Jardin sur Loire, an organic producer just a few hours south of Paris.

I love a lot of things about this place. It opens at 4pm. It serves only natural wines. The prices (sometimes as low as 4 euro a plate) are absolutely right. The dishes are simple but perfectly executed. The chef loves pickles as much as I do.

Oh, and walking in always feels like walking into my very own Parisian version of Cheers.

Check it out; you won't regret it. And as always, you can find my ever-evolving list of my favorite Paris restaurants here.
 

Where I'm Going

1. I'm going to Japan this spring! But before then, I'm going to be checking out the Japanese film Nobody Knows, which won best actor at the Cannes Film Festival in 2004 and is being shown at my favorite cinema in Paris, the Filmothèque du Quartier Latin.

2. This weekend, I'm definitely going to be at the Salon Mer & Vigne, a trade fair devoted to wine and seafood. Oysters and Chablis? Yes, please!

3. It's very easy for me to find an excuse to visit Victor Hugo's home on the Place des Vosges, but a particularly good one is beckoning this week, as his Parisian house pays homage to his home in Guernesey.

Coyau / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 3.0
 

What I'm Writing

1. In honor of Valentine's Day, I explored the history of one of France's only heart-shaped cheeses for Curiosity Mag.

2. I've spent a lot of time delving into Franco-American cultural differences for the sake of my own sanity. One topic I've spent a lot of time thinking about is why the French don't get excited the way the Americans do, something I analyzed for the BBC.

3. Another cultural quirk I've noticed since moving here is how important it is to say bonjour. I explored why it's not merely a translation of 'hello' for the Wall Street Journal.
 

What I'm Reading

I picked up Three Sisters exclusively for its title, but I stayed for the intriguing exploration of human emotions and, more than that, of a time and a place that I would otherwise have no access to. More in my review!

A bientôt !
Emily in France