Emily In France Exclusive 🇫🇷 The Top 5 Questions I Get Asked as a Tour Guide... Answered

From the desk of an expat.

I've been living in Paris for over 15 years, and I've been working as a tour guide for nearly as long. Which means that I field a lot of questions, from "How many bolts are on the Eiffel Tower?" (Answer: 2.5 million) to "Does everyone make Emily in Paris jokes when they learn your name?" (Answer: Surprisingly, no, but a lot of people ask me about whether other people do!)

But Emily in Paris aside, there are a few questions I field over and over and over again. And given the number of times they've come up, I thought they – and their answers – might be of interest to you, dear reader! So, with no further ado... here are the five questions I get asked most often about life in Paris.

1. Why are waiters so rude?

Perhaps the number one query I receive about life in France concerns the perceived rudeness of everyone from shopkeepers to postal workers to, of course, waiters. But rather than rudeness, this really comes down to a few cultural quirks that don't translate all that well.

First off, American tipping culture is totally foreign in France, where waiters are trained professionals who have attended school to learn their trade. They are paid a wage and boast the same benefits as any other employee in France. Since they're not earning their income based on their interactions with clients, but rather on their ability to do their job, a lot of the forced congeniality you get from servers in the States (yours truly included – I've never said "folks" quite so much as when I was a server!) is absent. In short, they don't feel the need to plaster on those massive American smiles to do their job well.

Secondly, French waiters tend to be very busy, with massive "sections" and sometimes even the whole dining room to look after. Efficiency is far more important, in this context, than congeniality.

"Efficient?" I hear some of you asking. "Then why do I have to nearly break my neck craning to get the waiter's attention so that I can have the bill, or get a basket of bread?"

Both of these issues are linked to cultural differences, rather than to an inattentive server. When you sit down at a table in Paris, that table, unless you've been informed otherwise, is yours for as long as you want it. (I cannot tell you how many times I've asked to be seated, only to be told that unfortunately I'll need to free up my table within two hours. Two. Hours.) To drop the bill would be seen as rushing you out of the restaurant; to leave you alone to chat with the people with whom you're dining (or to enjoy your own company) is seen as the less rude option.

As for the bread basket... well, bread in France is an accompaniment, not an appetizer. The bread will come when the dishes come, not before. (And not with butter or olive oil.)

2. Why is the coffee so bad?