Emily in France 🇫🇷 On Making Just One Plan

When does scheduling fun become a chore?

I remember bonding with a fellow former New Yorker years ago over the fact that, unlike in Paris, Manhattanites often made two or even three plans in the same evening: drinks followed by dinner followed by more drinks or dancing, each with a separate group, each interaction with its own built-in ticking clock letting you know when you'd have to leave to make it to the next plan. And while I certainly live by Google Calendar for much of my professional day (and, indeed, I would be lost without it), I have made a concerted effort in recent years to stop overplanning my social calendar.

Part of this stems from the fact that I’m a natural introvert, which (to me) means I’d like to spend as many evenings as I can muster eating spicy food in my pajamas at 8pm and getting into bed with a book at 9. (That I’m telling the Internet this simply means I have finally aged into my personality.)

But another, perhaps bigger part of this, is a cultural element I think I’ve absorbed from my time in France (though after fifteen years, the parts that come from the “new” and the “old” are far harder to discern): the value of profiter.

Profiter could, I suppose, be translated as “taking advantage.” Profiter is enjoying a longer-than-usual lunch so that you can linger on a café terrace when the sun has made a surprise appearance. Profiter is making the time, when the flowers are in bloom, to deviate through a garden on your way home from work. (It’s also one of my dearest friend’s favorite words, someone with whom I profiter with on the regular, each summer, for a week in Cannes.)

But one cannot put profiter on a clock. Or, to paraphrase Ghaz Samandri, founder of the Covn Collective, who recently put a halt to a challenge she'd set for herself to play every day, because she was “literally putting Play in a box,” creating too many rules around things you do for fun diminishes the purity of their pleasure… and in France, to leave one social plan for another is a bit of a cultural no-no.

The reasoning behind this kind of reminds me a bit of how apologetic French waiters are when they let you know that the table you're occupying for dinner is reserved in two hours. Lingering is prized; taking advantage of the company of those you’re with without looking at the clock is essential to the enjoyment of the activity itself. It’s tough to lean fully into being with the people you're with if you know you have another social engagement in an hour.

I love most elements of the French approach to social engagements: the relaxation, the way that time can stretch beyond the rules that usually seem to govern it. The only downside is that, often, I have to wait weeks to see some of the people I cherish most, simply because there aren't enough hours in the day. But my hope is that despite the wait, by the time we do see one another again, we do as the French do and profiter.

Cheese of the Week

The Picodon is a tiny, raw milk goat cheese made in both Ardèche and the Drôme – and it ay be the perfect example of how AOP protection does not preclude regional variation. Some Picodons are fairly mild and covered with a satiny white rind; others boast flavor far more evocative of the cheese’s name, which comes from the local Patois for “piquer” – jab or prick. It may boast a blue penicillium hue in certain regions, and in others, it's even washed for even more funk. Despite its name, this particular one was super milky and pleasant, with none of that goaty acidity or bite you tend to find on other goat cheeses. A total delight!

To discover more of my favorite cheeses, be sure to follow me on Instagram @emily_in_france, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and tune into the Terroir Podcast, where Caroline Conner and I delve into France's cheese, wine, and more one region at a time.

What I'm Eating

Kubri is a contemporary Lebanese spot whose fried chicken made one of my favorite dining buddies drool. But on my visit, the contemporary plant-based small plates are just as delightful – and dessert is unmissable. More on the blog.

Discover more of my foodie finds via Instagram @emily_in_france and on the blog.

What I’m Doing

This year, I’m hosting not one but two retreats! But they couldn't be more different from one another.

The first is a collaboration with my friend, ceramicist and product designer Camille Drozdz of Ici l’Atelier in La Ciotat. This May, when Paris weather is still dubious at best, we’ll be welcoming a handful of lucky ladies for the second iteration of our TERRE/MER retreat. Tapping into our shared passions for art, terroir, and sisterhood, the retreat is centered on a ceramics intensive tailored to the experience level of our participants (beginners? Awesome. Advanced? Come hone your skills!)

When you’re not in the studio crafting the tableware of your dreams with experienced designer Camille, I’ll be leading cooking workshops, cheese tastings, and even a beer pairing event overlooking the gorgeous port. Throw in convivial apéros, outdoor yoga (weather permitting), and downtime to explore this beautiful seaside town, and it’s a dream come true for anyone looking for the space and time to unwind and get back in touch with a slower pace.

After our first successful week in November, we heard your feedback and are now launching a long weekend format from May 18 to 21. And we still have a few spots! Check out our website and Instagram for more info.

A little over a month later, I'll be off on yet another escapade! June 26 to 30, my friend and fellow writer Anna Polonyi and I will be launching the very first iteration of the Nantes Writers’ Workshop.

During the five-day workshop, you'll take full advantage of morning generative writing sessions with me and afternoon craft and feedback workshops with Anna, an Iowa Writers’ Workshop grad and teacher based in Nantes. In the evenings, convene with us for craft talks over an apéritif. Check out our website and Instagram for more information!

Where I’m Going

1. To Mamagoto, a Franco-Japanese fusion spot I’ve been eyeing up for a while.

2. To Olga, for cheese and natural wine in the 12th. (Who’s been reading my dream journal?)

3. To Milan! (But more on that on Instagram beginning Monday.)

What I'm Writing

1. Shuggie's in San Francisco is making (delicious) pizza out of trash. For InsideHook.

2. One Chicago sushi chef shares his top-notch recipe for chicken nuggets. For InsideHook.

3. From the archives: I busted seven common French cheese myths for Food52.

What I'm Reading

1. I’m headed to Rome in a few weeks, so I've been researching local foodie spots (HMU if you have any!) and specifically Roman pastas. This guide to pairing the four local classics with wine is definitely coming with me! In InsideHook.

2. A French man was fired for not being "fun" at work – and he won a lawsuit showing he was wrongfully dismissed. (Maybe he, too, was trying to profiter with his friends?) In the Washington Post.

3. I am a huge fun fact fan, and there are some real doozies on this list, including one about the miraculous ability of the Eiffel Tower to grow. On Yahoo! News.

A bientôt !